BIKE: Benefits of Suburban Sprawl

[A. Gelfand]

Oh, I get it!

City good.
Suburbs bad.

Suburbanites fat evil gas-hogs.
Urbanites skinny nice walkers.

Solution:
Evil suburbanites see the light, abandon all cars and homes, and trudge to 
central Austin amid sackcloth and ashes.
Suburb businesses move to central city: Dell, NI, AMD, IBM, Freescale, 
Pickle Research, 3M, etc., chemical wastes in tow.

Result:
Highly desirable increase in city of Austin property values achieved!
Residents lose homes they cannot afford, squat in abandoned homes in less 
expensive surrounding areas.

Lesson: Urban sprawl is a result of population growth, not of road building.