BIKE: New transpo group rumored

[Roger Baker]

In my inbox this morning. -- Roger





> MEDIA RELEASE
> CONTACT: Name and Info Withheld for Now Pending Resolution of an 
> Ongoing Organizational Dispute
>
> NEW GROUP FORMS TO DISPENSE CONFUSING AND AT TIMES CONTRADICTORY 
> ANTI-RAIL
> STATISTICS AND HEAD-SCRATCHING FACTOIDS TO VOTERS WHO UNFORTUNATELY MAY
> BELIEVE THEM
>
> Most Do Agree KAR Acronym Catchy Though
>
> A new group has finally formed to oppose the widely supported, roundly
> praised, sensible, environmentally-friendly and affordable commuter 
> rail
> proposal. Kooks Against Rail (KAR), less a group than a collection of
> individuals who don't seem to agree on much besides their shared 
> anti-rail
> fanaticism, will attempt to get along long enough to hold a press 
> conference
> today and wow a local media desperate for conflict and controversy.
>
> "Mike Levy sneezes and gets banner headlines in the Austin
> American-Statesman so why can't we," said one possible participant who 
> is
> not yet sure he will attend because no other members of the group 
> agree with
> his plan for Jetson-style air car shares. "I'm sick of this Skaggs guy 
> and
> his roads, roads, roads, Max's stupid electric scooter subsidies, and 
> I'm not showing
> up anywhere if those monorail guys are there. My plan is cool. If 
> you're up
> in the air you don't have the two-dimensional restrictions of all 
> these 21st
> Century solutions. You'll see if I decide to show up." the possible
> (emphasis he insisted upon) participant said.
>
> The press conference will be held 10:30 AM Thursday at the 
> Commissioners'
> Court, 11th & Guadalupe
>
> Currently scheduled participants (emphasis on scheduled) include:
> Max "Scooters are the Answer" Nofziger
> James "A Road Through Every Neighborhood and a Helicopter in Every 
> Garage"
> Skaggs
> Skip "Personal Rapid Transit is the Answer and You're Stupid if You 
> Don't
> Agree. You See, I'm a 'High-Tech' Environmentalist" Cameron
> Steve "Auto Emissions Ain't So Bad" Ravert
> Don "I'll Kill Rail Like I Killed the Hospital District" Zimmerman
> Steve " I Live in Cedar Park and Don't Pay Cap Metro Taxes So Why am I
> Complaining Exactly" Scherer
>